Murder Fifty Shades of Merlot in Your Cakehole
I COULD MURDER A MERLOT
Merlot is the biggest grape variety in all of France and 67 million French can’t be wrong! Yet some people are still living in the dark ages of 2004. If you saw Miles in Sideways protest that he ain’t gonna drink a fucking Merlot, you know what we mean. Merlot has come of age and, just like us, it really is time to grow up. Next time you thirst for a titillating, surprising glass of wine, then go ahead and murder a Merlot. Our Merlot is so delicious, like murder, it ought to be illegal.
CRISP IN YOUR CAKEHOLE
We were talking about some of the big mouths in the wine industry and how no one knows everything about wine, not even middle aged men. Everyone’s opinion is valid as long as we agree with it. But rather than say something crisp like, “shut your cakehole!”, we decided to put something crisp into your cakehole. The obvious crispy wine is Riesling - with all that lemon and lime on the palette and nose, it’s not contentious. But it’s got to be the crispest wine for your cakehole.
FIFTY SHADES OF GRAPE
When we say, “fifty shades”, we could mean a wine that is very nuanced and subtle, or just our winemakers’ heads. Our Pinot Gris has shades of white, red or blue grey, depending on whether you look at it first thing in the morning or after a few glasses. The 2015 erotic movie Fifty Shades of Grey, inspired us to name our very first Pinot Grigio, but we cannot guarantee the same effect.
A Note re Pinot Gris / Pinot Grigio - We often explain the origins of Pinot Gris and Pinot Grigio, its Italian counterpart in our cellar door. We will typically pick the version of the name that invokes the style of the wine, and in this case we decided this was our first Pinot Grigio.